


More Than A Hologram

by DivineVarod



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Choices, Confidence and Paranoia, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Guilt, M/M, ME2, Pneumonia, Pre-Slash, Slight Slash, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 09:29:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6112268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DivineVarod/pseuds/DivineVarod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Rimmer contracts a dangerous holo version of Lister's mutated pneumonia a worried Lister explores his feelings for him and makes the Hologram a promise that changes everything.</p><p>-- Explores why Lister never really mentions switching Rimmer off after series 1 --</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Than A Hologram

Rimmer was ill, very ill.  
  
The Hologram was shivering in his bunk in the throws of horrible, feverish nightmares.  
  
Lister sat at his side at a loss of what to do. The Hologram was mumbling, his voice cracked while shaking with fear and delirium.  
The Scouser could not touch him so that ruled out any form of basic comfort he could give.  
Lister had never felt more useless.  
  
"Don't hurt me, my arm, you're breaking my arm!! I did study, I swear!! Father, please!!!"  
  
Lister frowned. What the smeg? Rimmer's nightmarish cries cut right through him.  
Atleast he'd had his Confidence to boost him during his recent illness. But all Rimmer had, it seemed, were his Paranoia and Self-loathing.  
  
"Lister, Lister!" Rimmer suddenly cried out in fear.  
  
"I'm here, Rimmer. I'm here."  
  
\---  
  
He felt guilty for mocking Rimmer over the last few days: The Hologram had complained about not feeling too well. His throat and his chest hurt, he said, he felt tired and dizzy. Then he complained about severe headaches and the lights being too bright.  
  
Lister thought Rimmer had been attention seeking. After all: holograms couldn't get ill.  
  
Then three days ago Rimmer had looked grey and the next morning said he felt too ill to get up. Lister went into his usual mocking Rimmer banter until he noticed Rimmer didn't reply once, he just lay there listlessly. That was worrying. He looked closer and stopped dead: it was clear to see the Hologram was ill, very ill. This wasn't funny anymore and as the days progressed Rimmer seemed to be getting sicker and sicker as Lister's fears grew.  
  
Holly had told him Rimmer had been infected by the mutated pneumonia Lister himself had caught recently. The Hologram might have been suffering from the infection for quite some time, which explained why he had been unable to keep up with his Hologramic Double and had been so tired and irritable.  
  
\---  
  
Lister was stunned not only by the fact that holograms could get ill at all but that they could also contract human diseases.  
  
Holly admitted it surprised him too, in general that never happened there must be a flaw in the programming. Thinking about it while sitting at the bed of the increasingly ailing Hologram Lister doubted it. There was something about Rimmer that was different from any hologram he'd ever met. While the others seemed like echoes of people quite contend with death and being a projection Rimmer seemed still human, truly human, and he fought his hologramic status all the way. He experienced pain, hurt, grief and tiredness. He suffered the same stress and anxiety, and still had migraines. He was a person, a person that clearly still had a soul.  
  
Lister had purposely scoffed at this notion at first, even though he'd felt it from the start, willing himself to see his bunkmate as nothing more than a 4D projection he could switch of and replace. He had to, how else could he be reunited with Kochanski.  
  
The terror in Rimmer's eyes when he suggested changing his disc was the first surprise: holograms were not supposed to fear being switched off. It was natural.  
  
Rimmer fighting like a lion to avoid Lister terminating him soon made the Scouser feel guilty.  
He begun to feel bad shooting Rimmer down with threats of switching him off. It wasn't far removed from "shut up or I'll kill ya." Actually, he admitted grudginly, it was the same.  
  
Rimmer had called it an execution which had stung him and made him look at himself. Threatening to kill someone wasn't Lister.  
  
\---

As the weeks went by Lister knew Rimmer was more than a hologram: he was as real as he was. In some ways his emotions seemed even stronger than they used to be.

The night he thought he would be switched of in favour of his copy was burned in Lister's mind: the fear, the hurt in those eyes. Of course he could not switch him off. The copy was another story. He lacked the personality, the reality that the real Rimmer had, it was “easy” to terminate him.  
Rimmer was different and Lister, to his surprise, realised he did not want him gone.

\---  
  
It wasn't as hard living with Rimmer as he often made out. The fist weeks after leaving Stasis his petty rules and regulations gave a great sense of normality and had lit a fire under his arse. The late night chats where a great comfort. He'd never had these kind of conversations with his mates. They were a laugh but could never be serious, which was what Lister needed sometimes.

When Rimmer moved out recently Lister had realised he'd actually missed him and had been bored when he went of with his "holo-twin".  
  
He knew that in a strange way Rimmer cared about him. The worry the man displayed when he refused to acknowledge the danger of Confidence, the way he pelted down the hall to get to his side when he cried out for help. Even that first day he tried to defend him when the Cat appeared. Rimmer had been very concerned and protective of him when he'd suffered from his pneumonia, even after Lister had threatened to shut him off so many times.

Lister had watched back the conversation the Hologram had had with the Cat and had been oddly moved. _“What is more important: a man's life or your smegging lunch?”_  Rimmer had said that when he thought no-one could hear him, so it was how he truly felt, no pretence.  
  
\---  
   
And now he was ill himself.  
Holly was at a loss. As this had never happened before there was nothing to go on. All they could do was wait and - literally- watch as Rimmer became sicker and weaker before their eyes. The virus had infiltrated his projection, his lightbee and then his programme. They couldn't reboot him to remove the virus as the whole ship could get infected. Rimmer had to fight his illness alone, completely alone.  
  
Lister felt utterly frustrated seeing his bunkmate like this, unable to do anything to help. It was crap being sick in space, Lister knew only too well. But when he'd been ill the Cat could still touch him and Rimmer had instructed the Scutters in how to help him. He could feel his bed, could drink refreshing water get some ice cream and medication. What did Rimmer have?  
  
\---  
  
Rimmer was smacking his lips. To Lister's surprise the Hologram appeared thirsty, his lips were cracked and dry.  
  
"You thirsty Arnold?" He asked gently. For some reason he felt better using Rimmer's first name when addressing the ill man.  
  
A weak, slight nod, or at least Lister thought there was.  
  
"Holly, give him some water."  
  
"Can't."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"He's laying down. His signal is very faint, Dave. It's all I can do to control him enough to keep him in the bed. Can't really reach him to help him up to drink."  
  
Lister felt an anger explode inside him.  
  
"You mean he's been made to feel thirsty but he can't have anything to drink? What sort of sick smeg is that?"  
  
Lister looked at Rimmer in despair the man was completely helpless, defenceless.  
  
He saw the tip of the Hologram's tongue slide past the cracked lips.  
  
Rimmer whimpered and fussed, his thin hand reaching out for something or … someone.  
  
“Help me …” he pleaded over and over.  
  
Lister stared at Rimmer. “I'm here, you're safe!” he said, but Rimmer didn't hear him. The hand kept reaching out.  
  
\---  
  
“Lister …” he suddenly croaked infirmly. “Lister no, please …”  
  
“Rimmer … Arnold … I'm here!!”  
  
“Lister no, please don't!!”  
  
Suddenly the hazel eyes snapped open and he stared at Lister eyes alight with fear.  
  
He clawed at him, wanting to grab him: “Don't switch me off Lister!! Please, please!! Don't make me leave you!!”  
  
Over and over Rimmer kept trying to grab him, his hands sliding through him. He was falling backwards and raising up again, pleading for Lister not to switch him of. Lister assured him he would never do it, he knew he meant it. He and Rimmer had been together too long now he couldn't go through with switching him off.  
  
How could he enjoy Kochanski's hologram if he'd have these extraordinary eyes of Rimmer haunting him for all eternity?  
And what would the use of it all be anyway? Having her with him look don't touch? It was useless. Come on, he couldn't even do anything for Rimmer right now.  
  
He wanted her alive and Rimmer could stay, this was his new mission. He'd have Krissy and Rimmer could just be around to do whatever it was he wanted. No matter how annoying Rimmer might get he would never be threatened with this again.  
  
He tried telling him this, but Rimmer didn't hear or understand. He kept sitting up and reaching out. Lister wished he could hold that hand to comfort him, mop his brow. Finally Rimmer collapsed back into his pillow, his breath ragged his chest moving rapidly, he whimpered and then … cried. Lister felt like a voyeur watching all this, unable to … make it stop.  
  
\---  
  
"Water ..." Rimmer's weak voice pleaded. "Water, please!!"  
  
"Damn ..." Lister thought. "No-one deserves this."  
  
"He doesn't ... really ... need water, does he?" He asked Holly, hopefully.  
   
"This is unknown territory, Dave. He might do. He'll certainly feel like he does, has done for quite some time."

Lister had enough of this. He had to do something.  
  
Could the other Rimmer touch him? He couldn't remember. Could holograms touch each other?  
  
“Holly.” Lister asked. “If I were a hologram, could I touch him?”  
  
“Yeah, you could.”  
  
“Could I give him water if I was a hologram?”  
  
“No reason why not.”  
  
Right, that was settled then.  
  
"Holly, could you turn my hologram on temporary?"  
  
"Your hologram won't understand, Dave. You'd have to explain everything to him. We could re-upload your memory."  
  
Smeg, that took too long. Rimmer needed him now.  
  
"Is there any other way? A quick way?"  
  
"Tempogram."  
  
"What's that, Hol?"  
  
"A machine that let's you interact physically with a hologram a few hours."  
  
"Show me."  
  
\---

Hologram Lister sat next to Rimmer and gently grabbed his hand, wiping the damp curls of the Hologram's forehead with the other. Rimmer sighed shakily.  
  
“It's okay Arnold, you're safe.”  
  
Then he was finally able to help Rimmer drink the water he so desperately wanted. Rimmer greedily gulped the cold liquid down. “Please, more …” he whispered when he finished the glass. Lister let Rimmer drink as much as he needed, as he held him up.  
  
“Thank … you.” Rimmer sighed. He looked at him, unfocussed and shook his head as if trying to think. Then he realised something.  
  
“Listy … hologram?” Rimmer asked, a confused frown on his face.  
  
Then he seemed to panic.  
  
“Listy … dead?”  
  
He begun to cough violently, Lister rubbed his back. “I'm not dead Arn. Don't worry.”  
  
He made him lay down again.  
  
“How …?”  
  
“Just temporary Arnold, to look after you.”  
  
“Why … do that ... for me …?”  
  
Lister didn't hesitate in his answer.  
  
“Because I know you care about me, so I care about you too.”  
  
Rimmer nodded quietly. Lister was glad when he appeared a lot calmer already.  
He noticed Rimmer's hand reaching out again and grabbed it. A weak smile appeared on the Hologram's face. Knowing someone was there that he could hold seemed to do him good.

At that moment Lister felt that he could not imagine being with anyone else. He realised Holly had made the right decision.  
Had Kochanski walked in right there and then he wouldn't have noticed or cared. Sitting there with Rimmer's hand in his he felt closer to him than he'd ever felt to anyone before.

Exhausted Rimmer slowly closed his eyes. Just when Lister thought he was falling asleep the Hologram opened them again to look at the Scouser.  
  
“Listy …” Rimmer wheezed. “K … Kochanski … her disk is …”  
  
Lister shushed him gently. “Leave it Arnold, it doesn't matter. Just understand: I'm not switching you off or anyone else on.”

“What …? But …?”  
  
Rimmer blinked at him, not understanding.  
  
“You just get better, okay?”  
  
“I … I can stay?” The weakened man asked, incredulous that Lister would choose him.  
   
“Yes. I don't want you to leave.”  
  
“You mean it? You really want me?”  
  
“I mean it." Lister winked at him. "Rimsy and Listy together in space forever.”

Rimmer smiled and squeezed Lister's hand.  
  
“Rimsy and Listy ...” He sighed.  
  
Forever.


End file.
